Arabic class

I am not quite sure how to explain my frustration.  If you have ever taken a foreign language and have struggled making certain sounds, you know how I am feeling.  It's frustrating, difficult, and very overwhelming. 

I had gone into tonight's lesson feeling very confident and prepared.  I had studied and even memorized 10 words.  I could read them in Arabic and translate them to English and read them in English and translate to Arabic.  I was enjoying writing the letters and I could even identify some letters in words!  I was ready to show her what I knew.

Unfortunately that is not how the lesson went.  I knew that it was going to be difficult right from the beginning when I saw on the top of the page "letters with no Engish equivalence."  Oh no here we go again.  That brought back memories of 2 weeks ago when I attempted the /ha/.  Supposedly my /ha/ is getting better, but I still don't hear it.  Anyway, I glanced down the list of the letters we were learning this week and saw /s/, /sh/, /s/ (yeah, exactly why 2 /s/'s?), and /d/.  I thought I had learned /d/ last week.  I had only learned one /d/.  There are 2 and they are slightly different, just like the 2 /s/'s.  Sound hard?  I wish you could hear the letters, maybe then you could help me because I don't hear the difference in the /s/.  I can hear it in the /d/.  One is more like the regular /d/ sound and the other is more like /daugh/ like in daughter.  Easy enough by itself, but try combining that sound with an e.  /daughe/????  Try saying that one.

I was so frustrated and overwhelmed that I started crying after she spent several minutes trying to get me to hear the difference and say the sounds.  I just couldn't do it.  They all sounded the same and incorrect when I said them.  The more frustrated I got the less I wanted to participate.  I just wanted to go home and quit.  It became very difficult to continue the lesson.  I even had trouble with the letters that I knew.  I couldn't even find the /b/ (one of the easiest letters and one that I learned in the first lesson) in words and I couldn't say words that had letters in them that I knew.  All the letters were becoming jumbled, which isn't too difficult in the first place since they are all smushed together and change shape based on their position in the word. 

Now that I know all the letters in my name, she showed me how to write it, but I wasn't all that impressed.  I know she was trying to cheer me up, but I didn't care.  She is very kind and encouraging so I shouldn't be getting upset because she really isn't putting any pressure on me.  She is very patient and wants me to do good.  She kept telling me that I need to be proud of myself because I am reading and my /ha/ is better, and I can do the /r/ (rolling r's like in French and Spanish), and /kh/ very well while others are still struggling with those sounds.  She made a point of making me read the word patience, in Arabic of course.  Learning takes patience and practice.  It's pretty bad that on the 5th lesson my instructor can tell that I am a perfectionist and sensitive. 

Hopefully things will get better.